A 12 year search.
A subtraction from my closet has me questioning if I am too attached to my clothes. My green jacket is getting donated to a thrift store. This was the first outerwear garment i purchased after I moved to America. This jacket went on every hike I ever did and was the tent on my back on every camping trip. My shoulders do not fit into it anymore and I cant make do. It is from a fast fashion retailer who did not design it for life lived. They made it for an image, quick turnover and for the gullible woman I was. The mock pockets drove me crazy for years. The then young woman had no care in the world, lived for the day, didn’t deeply think about her purchases and bought the best looking garment for fewest dollars spent. Zara always won at that game. I set out to wear it till I could write down a list of requirements on what I need from a jacket and found it.
Requirement : A utility jacket that is made for the human who is homesick and filled with wanderlust.
Homesick because I love wandering around my house with my dog. House doesnt have boundary lines that stop at our property for my puppy. She seems to yearn for walks on our streets. So do I these days. When inside the house, I am homesick for my garden. When in the garden, I am homesick for resting indoors. When I am at my desk, I am homesick for walks… When we walk the streets and her energy seems boundless, I lust for our regional shoreline park. I feel at home here and love it.
Wanderlust because we need to go see the forests that survive on East Bay inspite of the suburban sprawl. I would like to intimately know one national park and maybe study to become a docent. I crave a deep understanding of ecology and economy. It’s a kind of wanderlust that makes every plant and animal a part of the story. I want to wander aimlessly. I want to wander with a plot map in hand.
I need my utility jacket, shoes, hat and bag to facilitate travel.
A jacket that can be worn when outdoors. Fit my everyday carry. Not chafe on the backpack straps. Largest pockets without looking silly. Comfortable pockets to protect my fingers from the cold wind. Be easy to be worn over everything. Match every thing. Be navy blue. Make me feel at home in the outfit. Make me invisible. Be ordinary and not draw attention to me on the street. Dont stand out. Make me look older and wiser. Be warm enough. Be ventilating enough. Be tough. Be light. Not be plastic-ey. Be mendable.
Look like you once belonged on the back of one of the great Beat Poets of San Fran or the sheep farmers in the North. Look like it could belong on the back of a tired woman you see on the train, coming home after a long day. Look like it belongs on the back of a woman lost in her book at an unglamorous not-Instagram-able cafe. It should age well.
Be affordable. Be made of waxed cotton. Shouldn’t be too precious. I cant fret about getting it dirty or be careful about my clothes when outdoors.
This is what I found :
I have been wearing it for the last month and it fits.
I wish this is how considered every addition to my closet is. I wish this is the kind of obituary all of my clothes get when I let them go. Not true. But I keep trying. With practice, the though process between seeing something and wanting it, the duration between wanting something and choosing it, and the process of decision making seem to feel more in my control than a run away train driven by desire.
I’m a sucker for green so I actually like your old green jacket, but just the color. I’m glad you found something you like better and works for you. Having fake pockets or half pockets or zippers that don’t operate and are just for show are very irritating elements of a fashion jacket – instead of a practical one. When you mentioned it had to be waxed cotton I thought of Barbour – the Beadnell waxed cotton jacket. I’ve always wanted one but always told myself it was too precious to get due to the pricing. Even second hand they can be pricey.
I did find a Barbour jacket for 42$ second hand which ended this search. They seem to come up on RealReal for cheap from time to time.
I am with you on army green. It somehow feels more authentic and blends with the trees when I hike. But it was time for a change for me. I do have another antique army jacket found from our flee market and didn’t want two in the same color.
Some jackets seem to come out of the store with pockets stitched up that you have to remove the knots out of, at home. That was the trap I fell into when I bought my Zara jacket. Mock pockets is a way to be mean to your customer.