The end of dresses.
In my 20s, I wore body con dresses or skinny jeans with fitted t-shirts. Living on the campus of a party school influenced how I perceived beauty and style. In my early 30s, A-line dresses felt liberating. It was the feminist thing to do : give relaxed silhouettes a chance and to not dress for the male gaze. Today, dresses feel like a costume from my past. The last time I wore a maxi dress with a full skirt in India, it felt theatrical … like I was roleplaying a part. ( I got compliments and somehow felt insulted for falling in line with a certain idea of femininity. ) I am moving on. What was once a closet of dresses is slowly inching towards a stack of pants.
End of ballet flats
My puppy’s boyfriend chewed up a pair of my ballet flats. I miss the money I spent on those flats more than the shoes themselves. Sneakers are more suited to my lifestyle. Ballet flats were my idea of feminine shoes from my past phase of life. Instead of donating my stash, I am slowly wearing them out with no intention of replacing them. I have friends who own just enough that they wear out the garments, right in time for a personal style update. I buy too many of the same thing. Any change in personal style leaves me with a capsule of clothes to waste. ( I am less likely to do repairs and extend life of shoes once I have fallen out of love with them. ) True to this behavior, I have built a collection of sneakers and cant see myself going back to dainty shoes.
Voluminous pants
Everything that I once looked for in an A-line dress, I now need from my trousers. I need negative space. I need fabric to not cling to me. I am discovering silhouettes that aren’t aspiring to be skinny or caricature-feminine. Pants of different kinds of volume and drape, interests me. COS curved seam wide leg trousers were my initiation. They have exceeded 300 wears and warrant another pair to share the load. Which pair comes next ? I am unsure. Finding these fantasy pants is still pending.
Worker wear.
After loosing interest in all fashion news and after the collapse of formal dressing since covid, my style has become independent of fashion trends. I don’t know of IT bags and magazine/blog content anymore. There is no store I visit seasonally. It is a big relief. I meet younger women aggressively building bag collections or eagerly awaiting the release of certain designer’s collections. I cant relate. That life is behind me and good riddance. Getting off that hamster wheel, is self-care. It’s a mental bandwidth reclaimed. It’s money saved. My old comfort zones, became updated personal style. T-shirts, denim, flannel, sneakers and puffer jackets are my most worn garments from 2022. If walker-gardener-commuter chic is a style category, I am on that pathway. “How would Mary Oliver dress today?” is something I ask often. How did she live ? Did she live in a small cottage ? What was her cabin like ? She walks + writes for living and for a living. How did she dress for her walks in New England ? How different is her every day wear from how she is dressed in photos of her on the internet ? I have been visiting the homes of my friends affiliated with California Native Plant society, California naturalists, animal lovers or climate work. Their homes, vehicles, travel and closets reflect their values and subsequent way of life. I do envy humans who can combine thrift, beauty and low-carbon living. I am inspired by how they dress.
There is a portion of my closet chosen for durability and ease of movement. Integrating worker-wear is the answer.
a t-shirt
My trip to india helped me find a yoga teacher. We do 2 lessons per week. I walk puppy twice a day. We do 2 hikes per week. I clean my house. I dig in the garden. I carry stacks of book between library and home. I walk to the train station and live the car-free lifestyle for 5 days a week. My body has changed to reflect my activity. I started to fit into my oldest surviving clothes. Simplest garments, are sufficient. I am content wearing a t-shirt with a puffer jacket/vest on most days. As much as I dislike tech-bro way of dressing, that is where I seem to have landed. UniqloU make the perfect short sleeve mid-weight version for me. Finding a long-sleeve cotton and merino wool version of the t-shrit is still pending.
Blue denim
One pair of blue boyfriend jeans were enough back in the day. I wore black denim to the office. Blue was too casual, not elegant enough, too colorful,…. I used to wear that blue pair on short hikes, cleaning day and laundry day. Today, it’s become the only pair getting worn. A crew neck t-shirt and well fitting jeans has become the fantasy outfit I am trying to fulfill. I never was a fashion hype-beast. I discover trends only when they are on their way out. 2 years later, to be precise, I want heavy weight vintage blue denim. Not high rise, but mid-rise. After the last decade wearing raw stiff denim, thin soft denim feels like underwear pretending to be jeans. I can’t commit to a pair of denim that wont survive the wear. For denim, one should choose for the decade and mentally commit to mending. Shopping for this said pair, is work I begrudgingly do. Ordering online, trying on denim, printing return labels, carrying boxes to the post office, is now a bi-weekly chore. Investing in tailoring a not so perfect pair, is looking like the most viable way to find this mythical pair of denim.
Pause on Minimalism
For the sake of the planet, I would like to own just enough and wear all of my clothes into the ground. But I have been unable to be content with what I have. I have added more categories to the subset of outfits that I consider uniform : { blue jeans and navy blue t-shirt. black pleated wide leg trousers and navy blue t-shirt }. I am searching for blue denim that fits me. I am looking for trousers that have the right kind of volume. Until I find what I am looking for and settle into it, I cant optimize for less consumption. It is easier to make a few additions, give it time and then subtract things that don’t work out. Much easier than zooming in on the perfect pair of pants in a new silhouette on the date of purchase and it working out like anticipated. Meanwhile, I am selling away the dresses and subtracting dainty shoes. My closet is in a state of flux and an equilibrium seems too aspirational right now.
I also feel shifts in what I am seeking, style-wise – less specific items and more a shift in mood: I would like clothes that feel refined even when I have never dressed more casually. It has been quite elusive what these means though…I do crave some new trousers, but a lot of it has to do with the fact that I no longer fit in my old pairs. For denim, I have found a lot of joy shopping for men’s vintage on Etsy – my current fave is a Diesel pair I got in 2021 (or 2020, can’t recall exactly), but I am reluctant to buy more pairs of jeans as I mainly work from home these days and the pandemic has taught me that I am just not the kind of person that enjoys wearing jeans at home, no matter how comfortable they are. I think ultimately, I would like to shop my closet better and get a better sense of how to put items together, than buy new pieces.
Refined casual, please write about it. As I swing towards casual t-shirts from silk blouses, I have started to wonder if I am dressing like a teenager again. I am also looking to seek inspiration that is refined casual. Mari Giudechelli-esque off duty models cant be my mood board. I am seeking inspiration from older women who sometimes go to an office. Unfortunately, I am coming short on the search terms. Do help.
Your vintage denim finds are my dream. I have been reading up your older entries to gain some knowledge for my search.