Shoes are for exploration.

Today, I fell face down on the street while walking and had to come in terms with my shoes having no threading on its soles. This pair is ready to be retired. This is probably the first shoe I have truly worn out in a long time now. Every other pair was donated or sold or dumped at a thrift shop, before it became unusable. I have stopped decluttering since the pandemic hit anticipating premature decisions made for a temporary condition. COVID has dragged on for years and I am still WFH. Slowly, I am wearing my clothes out and am finding joy in the process. A certain pair of black pants are looking ash gray. There is a linen dress that has protest group of its own, from friends who don’t think I should wear it out in public. My hiking shoes and running shoes are worn out. After years and years of trying to not need excess / to not dispose fashion prematurely / to resist the fast fashion mindset, I see a glimmer of hope. Using my things is hardly a reason to congratulate myself, but something is working. I am cutting new rags from worn out garments. I have been mending and am comfortable with a needle. Since I started tracking wear, every garment has become precious and I can’t bear to waste it. I refuse to give it away frivolously. I refuse to hoard it and have been using my spread sheet to distribute wear. My money matters so much more now that I get paid by green energy tech industry. It’s money that came from humans investing in the climate and every penny made in wages, sales, profit, research, grants, subsidies, … matters. Generations have marched, protested, begged, shouted, altered our lifestyles, innovated, failed, tried again, deeply loved the planet, deeply thought about their long term future, … for this climate investment. Every dollar matters. If I bought shoes with it, I better extract their worth in cost per wear. These shoes had a glorious life/death from walking hundreds of miles. My puppy came along and totally changed the meaning of shoes. They went from vanity-outfit-completer to aids that enable exploration of my city. So be it.