Finding solace in the nest by a great-grand-ma maple tree.
To be at home, is an extra ordinary state of being. To feel safe, to be surrounded by loved ones, to have some stability, to grow roots, to feel at peace, to not constantly be on the move, to not being chased out of one’s home, to not run from place to place chasing my own tail, to respecting and maybe loving ones neighbors, to hope that the gods of time allow you to be alive for a tad longer in this place, … are goals that became tangible for me in 2021. We moved into our house and it started supporting the life we always envisioned : a garden, us, our kinfolk and all the animals. To be able to do so in California, given how expensive housing is, is a privilege and I will never take it for granted. Maybe the Trump 2.0 will find a way to terrify immigrants again, and I won’t feel at home ? ( I used to think identity based politics were stupid until I realized my rights are constantly changing and at the mercy of the populists, because of my identity. Any president can revoke my work permit and I will have to self deport. ) Till that day arrives, this is home and I will live well here. (“I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief.”) To live with him and puppy, in this house, is magical. To sit under the maple tree at night with Mina and to read, daydream, write, sketch, work, drink tea, watch the moon, watch movies, see the wild animals stroll, listen to the wind, …. is to experience an endless night. To become a caretaker of the soil and to plant a garden, is when I find my highest creative self. This house is alive with it’s history and seasonal changes, and we are yet to discover all of her secrets. The ecosystem surrounding the house is recovering with more of us planting our gardens and the birdsong rewards us for it every morning. This sense of home, is a first for me, as someone who left her parents home young, have been floating around since age 16, and has lived in 17 different homes since. I want to stay. I want to stay here.