Find your “third space”.

If you currently eat out a lot, you may go into withdrawal if you try and cut down, but there’s a high probability that what you are missing isn’t the food so much as the ‘third place’ factor. This neat little term describes a place that is not work or home, but a third kind of place where you feel at ease, and a part of the greater world. Town squares serve this function beautifully in many cultures where they are used as a staple of the community’s ‘going out’ life. People set themselves up on a bench to watch the passing crowds, or take a leisurely stroll arm in arm, pausing to chat when they pass acquaintances. Teenagers get all teenagery in giggly group huddles, glancing excitedly over their shoulders to see who could be glancing back. You might buy a cob of roasted corn on a stick, or a handful of grain to scatter to the pigeons, but it’s not obligatory. You feel refreshed by having been in the world, and stopping to drink it in. There are very few obvious non-commercial substitutes in your average western city.

Raser-Rowland, Annie,; Grubb, Adam,. The Art of Frugal Hedonism.

The Art of Frugal Hedonism is such a fantastic book that I bought an extra copy to stuff into our neighborhood free library. From the view point of Sustainability, we often learn of what not to do. Dont chase more. Dont buy the big car. Dont become a frequent flyer. Dont eat red meat. Dont buy the 15th pair of shoes. Dont buy the blue dress you dont need. Dont buy too many plastic wrapped things. Dont ……. At the end of the day, we are all trying to keep our lives in order, grow enough wealth for security and practicing joy. A systemic approach to hedonic happiness without spending, that is attainable for all, is what this book is about.

Finding a third place is one of the many greatest ideas suggested this book. Existence of third places is probably why I enjoy travel in certain European countries. It is what makes New York City interesting and walkable. When enough citizens spend time in public spaces, there is a desire to make these places enchanting and inviting. Since reading this book, I have found a few places that I have become comfortable being at without a phone in hand :

library, bookstore, lake side, beach, local park, play ground, dog park, public transit, town square, public garden.

My puppy is my ticket to starting conversations. She greets strangers and has become the ice breaker.

My best find so far, is our community garden. I don’t have a plot but we spend time here anyways.

Gardeners are some of the kindest people I have met. Before someone screams “correlation is not causation”, it’s my personal belief that taking care of soil, smiling at worms and speaking the language food sovereignty changes a person. Saving and sharing seeds/tools/compost changes you. Not abusing the soil because we want who ever leases the bed next to eat well, changes you. If hope is a verb, gardening is a practice. Gardens anchor humans to places, and make us care about a place more deeply. My daily walks are enriched by conversations with the gardeners in our neighborhood. I have seen them accept winters that killed everything they planted and start over in spring. Going through life cycles made them philosophers. The spaces they create, have become my third space. That a patch of land to garden is rentable for 50$ a year, without needing a mansion in a suburb, is revolutionary. That a church donated a patch of its lawn to gardeners, makes me wish more institutions did the same. Living in an apartment and finding a third place, helped me re-imagine urbanism and housing :

A single family home with big yard and multiple SUVs parked in the front, has been the cherished American Dream. Is it compatible with our climate goals ?

I wanted the dream. Finding 3rd spaces helped me re-imagine the dream. Having places to spill into, to get out of the house, helped. In my life, everything is an acquired taste. I was born liking sugary starchy food. I taught myself to love vegetables. I was born liking shiny things. I taught myself to understand wabi-sabi. I grew up in a house larger than any space I lived in the last decade. I now like small cozy spaces. I taught myself to sleep on the floor and take cold showers. To do yoga and meditate. To bike and walk. …… I am now teaching myself sustainable living.

Urban density is essential to prevent sub-urban sprawl. We clear out forests, meadows, swamps, animal habitats, corridors that aide animal migration, etc that sequester carbon/dampen floods, and build mansions far away from work places that are only reachable by cars . The 2,200 sft average American home 2,200 requires clearing 20 trees. ( A 25,000 sft mansion requires clearing 380 trees. ) The wealthy own multiple homes full of stuff. We are making it harder and harder on ourselves to solve the climate crisis. Apartments near transit and smaller multifamily homes are a part of the solution to the housing crisis in California. NIMBY-ism, abuse of environmental laws and regressive zoning created scarcity making it unaffordable to anyone not selling ads and gadgets. Chefs, musicians, writers, activists, visual artists, … cant afford to live here and our cities are ugly without them. The old order now landlords over the young, who have to give away a significant chunk of their paycheck as rent. The ones who got their foot in the door go to every Town Hall meeting opposing new development and fund election campaigns of politicians who wont legislate. We need urban density and affordable housing. It is pro-human over pro-home-equity-for-millionaires. SB9 ( multi family units ) and SB10 ( 10 unit apartments near transit ) passed the assembly in California and now sit at the Governors desk as of today. Let’s do this California.

Meanwhile, let’s all find our 3rd space(s) so that we participate in urban design of our cities.

If you have a third space, would you care to share? I can use your narratives.