I had nothing to offer to you. The pandemic has me living a quarter life. I told myself that it’s okay to not be doing alright. The times are hard for us all. Why the unreasonable expectations to be joyful ? Then came a phone call. My aunt was checking up on me. She asked about my life and listened to all the nothings I have going. She told me “I miss you. Keep calling me too many times”. She is my magic wand, many a times in life. Life is contagious. We need to keep passing it on to each other. Here is me checking in on you. Do share how you spend your days and all the nothings in it. My days are spent looking for silver linings. Here are some :

Soap was a savior many a time, in the history books filled with tales of disease. It’s became a savior again. This olive oil soap is an MVP in our home. Dishes, hands, laundry, floors, counters, surfaces, ….. puppy, … they all get a coat of the suds. Bonus : my soap glows at sunset.

My boss sleeps under my desk and watches over me all through the work hours. She dozes off all too often but a whiff of motion from me snaps her back into surveillance mode again. Her eyes follow me everywhere. I detest being micro-managed and watched over. But she is too cute and it’s an honor being watched over by her.

I take day breaks to admire the beauty of objects around me. Nowhere to go and nobody to socialize with, objects are all I have and I ought to keep seeing them with new eyes. This chair has many names. The bankers chair. The lawyers chair. … I re-named her : the poet’s chair. Let’s free her from the clutches of the capitalism’s dream jobs and dedicate her to the dreamers.

No dressing up is required to stay home. I can do with less upkeep, maintenance and wear-tear of my work wear. I live in black chinos/boyfriend denim and a t-shirt these days. But shoe therapy continues to be a part of my day. I wear loafers at home.

On one hand, I get angry that the stock market is talked about as much, by folks around me, during the pandemic. On the other hand, if they kick me out of the country, I will need money to start over in a new land. It’s a slave-driver relationship.

A dry twig that I foraged in the woods for my vase, started to sprout tiny green leaves. Is that a sign that this winter will pass and there is a spring fighting to emerge ? I wish I was superstitious. I wish I believed in magic.

It rains all the time. I am irritated by the inconvenience of it at times. I want the sun and the rainbows. Not rain clouds and gray skies. Not the frizzy hair and the humidity. But then, I get to hear the water falls and see the moss grow on trees.

Puppy is a gourmet. She likes her water fresh, untouched and in the wild. As she drags me to places I don’t venture, I too try out the fresh puddles with my rain boots. Dogs are the best kind of humans.

I celebrated my birthday by going on a long walk in my new second-hand dress. And then teared up at the grocery store. Walking down the aisles reminded me of a time when life was boring but there was no fear of being. I bought myself some flowers, goat cheese, bread and felt spoilt.

The sunsets have become an event again. The light is divine and I don’t want to sleep walk through my day without experiencing it. I settle in with a cup of tea and flip through some books as an evening treat to self. Old magazines and catalogs that I collected through the years come out from hiding. Life almost feels normal for a few moments but it isn’t. I wouldn’t enjoy every sunset if I wasn’t locked in.

My heart now resides outside my body. It’s furry and has a tail. It likes to play. This heart of mine loves me the most.

She was supposed to be visiting me for a week and accidentally got quarantined with us after India went into a lockdown. Mom and I take turns playing mother-daughter. The tea pot follows us around. So does the puppy. We play board games and watch the Mahabharat every evening. We do yoga in the morning. We discuss Bhagavat Gita all day long. We are starting a window sill garden of micro greens from sprouting seeds. This is life lately.